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In 2005 I was honored to speak at the same conference as Laura Peterson- founder of Hands To Heart. I recently asked her to write about her work. Imagine a world where every child is loved and in turn can give love. It is possible – we can all work together to make it happen.
Parenting the World’s Orphans
by Laura Peterson, Founder & Director, Hands to Hearts International
When most of us think about parenting we think about our own children, our nieces, nephews, grandchildren or the children in our neighborhood. For over a decade I worked in the mental health field serving children and their families in crisis, trying to cope with abuse, chemical dependency, mental illness, school problems or divorce. But it wasn’t until a few years ago that my attention turned to the mostly silent crisis of millions upon millions of children who are orphaned or abandoned each year, mostly in developing countries.
How does one even conceive of 87.6 million orphans in Asia alone? (UNICEF 2003) Each number is a child, with a name, face, favorite game or favorite food, but no parent to hold their hand, kiss their bumped knee, or in any way let them know that they are loved. It’s no easier to conceive of this epic issue when paired with the fact the numbers of orphaned and abandoned children are swelling, with a seemingly uncontrollable fever, around the globe. Who is responsible for parenting these children? And what is the cost of not parenting them?
These are the questions that gnawed at my soul and led me two and a half years ago to quit my secure job (that of trying to put proverbial band aids on broken children in the arena of mental health care) and to create Hands to Hearts International (HHI) a program designed to reach as many of the world’s orphaned children, at the earliest possible time, with the simplest, most valuable and cost-effective, form of preventative care possible – that of basic parenting.
The scope of the orphan problem in the developing world is massive, with millions of children abandoned or orphaned due to war, AIDS/HIV and other diseases, the stigma of unwed motherhood, and profound, intractable poverty. In some countries, extended families and villages absorb these children into their own homes, while other countries have firmly established orphanage systems – think China and Romania. Even where villages try to care for their children, when the problems are as big as HIV/AIDS or war, the seams of the community can burst. Typically, if and when the government steps in, the quickest remedy is orphanages, institutional care for dozens or hundreds of children under one roof.
Orphanages are typically located in economically deprived communities, and adequate, consistent care for babies is simply not available. The research is unequivocal: the lack of human touch and connection has devastating, lifelong consequences for children. Beyond the age of 3 years old, if a child has not formed a loving bond with a consistent caregiver, the critical window for developing this capacity all but closes and severe emotional problems can and do persist into adulthood, impacting communities with greater violence and instability. This endangers human lives and dignity, compromises communities, and keeps an unending cycle of poverty alive. According to UNICEF, “Ensuring optimal conditions for a child’s early years is one of the best investments that a country can make if it is to compete in a global economy based on the strength of its human capital.”
Where do we even begin to address this complex, multi-faceted and massive problem? And why should we when we have local children down the block in need of warm coats and quality day care? The answer is as simple as this – in our global economy, these are all our children. We are all connected and the consequences will touch us all. What will our world look like if we don’t take on the raising of each and every child in it from a place of love, kindness and compassion?
Hands to Hearts International (HHI) provides training to orphanage caregivers on early childhood development with a specific focus on the vital importance of attachment.
HHI is unique in combining economic development/empowerment for impoverished women with desperately needed health services for orphaned children, and is a model which will become financially sustainable by adoptive families’ paying a modest fee to ensure that their child receives a nurturing HHI nanny while in the orphanage. This creates a socially and economically sustainable model for sociamarl change that can scale quickly to reach thousands of children.
In HHI’s first year of operations, we exceeded goals by 350%, leading 20 trainings in India (and one in Russia) for 285 women who are using their new skills to better the care and health of over 1,470 children! The outcomes from our efforts have been dramatically improved health for the children, resulting in fewer hospitalizations, less medicines, greater weight gain, and easier to soothe children who are more socialized, and who stay in the orphanages less time because they are adoptable by local families faster. The women we have trained report similar positive results. They are taking greater pride in their work, practicing better hygiene and are more responsive and nurtmaruring with the children. Also, a number of the women I have spoken to have opened savings accounts to ensure their own children’s education.
“We intended to improve child-care in orphanage settings, but what we have done is establish a new model of excellence in care for all orphaned children, ages zero to three, and we have proven that our model is replicable on an enormous scale,” says Peterson.
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There by the grace of god go our own children.
As a new mom I usually only have eyes for my own. Laura Peterson reminded me that for every hug I give my child there is a child out there who doesn’t have anyone to hug them. This made me want to hug my child even more and get involved. Of course I wish I was independently wealthy and able to support her foundation and others like it with all the money in the world- well maybe someday. In the mean time I do everything I can to find even pennies to send her way. I give a portion of my companies profits to Hands to Heart, and I look for creative ways to help get her support. This September our family will grow- we’re having a second child. We can’t wait and we have lots of friends who have had baby boys and lots of things left over from the first baby. So our needs this time around are much less. Still a baby shower is a fun way to get together with friends and celebrate – we all know we won’t have much time for that after the baby is born. So I decided to ask my friends to give a donation to Hands To Heart in lieu of gifts – if they so desire. It may not raise much – but every penny counts. There are countless ways to help. Don’t be shy- email Laura and ask her how you can help. Imagine we can truly make a difference in these children’s lives. All we have to do is ask how we can help.
Thank you!
A film about HHI is available at http://stage.dotsub.com. A three minute film that shows the faces and places of where we work is available there.
For more information, visit handstohearts.org
Posted in December, 2007
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